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Songs My Mother Never Taught Me

by Manella

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1.
Time 03:39
lyrics
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Look at me now Feel my breath at mourning Hold me up when I can't hold myself I don't wanna fall in love again Tell me you want me Now, not in ten years, a picket fenced fantasy Hold me in your eyes And make me think time has not passed I'm wounded, I'm healing Uncovered every scar As I open and renew my bandaged heart So take me in your hands and lead me Never looking back We've changed and made amends Time moves so fast Sitting at a charming corner table In every new pair of eyes I see yours Trimming your face from every memory made It's simply not enough to be in love Cause I can't mend you with my love I'm wounded, I'm healing Uncovered every scar As I open and renew my bandaged heart So take me in your hands and lead me Never looking back We've changed and made amends Time moves so fast Did I do something wrong Should I wait or should I simply move on Was that tearful kiss our last Or did you always think we wouldn't last I'm wounded, I'm healing Witness every scar As I open and renew my bandaged heart So take me in your hands and lead me Never looking back We've changed and made amends Is this the end We're not the same we were Time moves so fast
2.
Pirates 03:45
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I've dreamed of the sea and California I thought it'd bring some warmth and comfort to my icy heart But now I see that happiness and pain are both linked from within And the West would only guide me to more drowning in my thoughts I dreamt of a Captain who led me to that Sea He made me face my fears I was left shipwrecked on the breeze Our sails were made of silk and hope Tattered we were left in smoke My loneliness awakened became a recurring theme I'll stand on my own two feet And watch the water take me I'll drown until I'm revived from the storm I'll wake up renewed washed upon a desert island Left all alone to save me from myself When I was a little girl I fell in love with stories Of pirates and their bold swashbuckling ways I'd stolen every book on the subject from the library Any new horizon was a pirate's life for me On birthdays I dressed up to not live in my own skin I'd turn all of my cowardice into a heroine I lived and told my stories as all the kids made fun of me I locked away my costumes and the books into a drawer I'll stand on my own two feet And watch the water take me I'll drown until I'm revived from the storm I'll wake up renewed washed upon a desert island Left all alone to save me from myself Then I was much older I found myself a Pirate King We'd laugh until each daybreak and would love until the morn But I could not protect him with my sword from all his enemies The demons of the mind are worse than Blackbeard's greatest foe I saw him sail off to a life of new beginnings His pirate ways were over, the amusement now was gone So I was left heiress to a grey abandoned ship No crew or lovers left, just a sweet tearful adieu I'll stand on my own two feet And watch the water take me I'll drown until I'm revived from the storm I'll wake up renewed washed upon a desert island Left all alone to save me from myself
3.
Pain 04:16
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It's been a while and I'm still not over you Waking up from dreams with you in them The bedsheets miss your outline Each night I fade my thoughts with sour wine Yet still I hear your whispers on my pillow I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do In your stare I sense two daggers of emptiness Broken by a ripple, heart grows to stone Would rather bleed together than on my own I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do Capture me with your old eyes once more Listening to the river on a park bench Replaying every phrase told from old times You didn't shed a tear As if your love for me had disappeared And if I saw you now across the room I'd scream to hear your voice again I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do In your stare I sense two daggers of emptiness Broken by a ripple, heart grows to stone Would rather bleed together than on my own I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do Capture me with your old eyes once more Kiss me once more Hold me once more Touch me once more Show me once more Take me once more Open me once more Have me once more Love me once more I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do (that I do still) In your stare I sense two daggers of emptiness (of emptiness) Broken by a ripple, heart grows to stone Would rather bleed together than on my own I can't help but think that you don't feel the same pain I do Capture me with your old eyes once more
4.
Young Girls 04:16
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Hazy window, back seat of a car Making love that didn't mean nothing at all Stains of Summer remnants to the tune of an eighties love song Cool nights with sweaty solemn mornings Ignoring the fears that I have Your hands on my hips That first time bliss I did resist Not just a kiss Mirage of a dream it's over in three I wish I'd been older when I had your fingerprints engraved upon my skin Not just a fifteen year old wispy child Who never thought she'd run away from home I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is In a world where we're meant to be silent Blurry advertisement on the TV Telling me that I wasn't born pretty Inculcated thoughts of my hatred I see in colour Object of affection, object of perfection Only live to satisfy his eyes Their gaze on my lips That stems down to my measured hips A momentary glimpse Mirage of a dream that rips at the seams I wish I'd been older when I had your fingerprints engraved upon my skin Not just a fifteen year old wispy child Who never thought to run away from home I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is In a world where we're meant to be silent I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is In a world where we're meant to be silent I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is In a world (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be silent) (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be silent) I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be silent) (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be silent) I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is I guess that's just the truth of what a young girl is In a world where we're meant to be silent
5.
The Water (Poem) 03:13
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The Blue cape Grand and lyrical Unaffecting and lonely Free to think To feel To let it swallow me in one inhale Purified by water I am whole again The ground buckles beneath me as calmness takes its hold Every last thought seeps out from each extremity The color is blank Roused towards the lost perspective of agua y Cielo Hacia el abysmo Asfixiada, arrastrada, inerte, una paz Una nube sola, abandonando en su camino el celeste libre I cannot swim Me devora dulcemente Every last thought seeps out from each extremity Flotando en las lagrimas del cielo Why do we feel alone Why do we feel hatred When we all suffocate in congregation Individualistic minds seeking affection and warmth Pero el agua se siente fria Y por primera vez persigo lo helado Sinking and toppling over brown sand It touches me He llegado a casa Fear is not the enemy, but an ungrateful friend I barely see As lost was the horizon with its gaping arms enfolding me Every last thought seeps out from each extremity Lo deseo Deeper and deeper I am free Not shackled to constraints of land and memories Buried as a hatchet in the storm of my mind La capa azul, grande y lyrica Me estremeze en soledad
6.
Undesirable 04:14
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I'm undesirable in your eyes Though at first we seemed to fit together Perfect intertwined You don't want me anymore Guess I'll be that ragged doll kicked to the curb like girls before Then you wonder why I'm depressed After the mess you've always caused me I'm trying to understand I'm trying to understand and fix the pieces Ripping apart at every seam In every dream I wake up falling Fixing this broken heart feels so lonely Without you by my side Gotta pick myself back up Time is a wretched friend who reveals All the years and all the good times that we had Never bothering to shed a tear Of one who could just break me And knew just what to take from me Then you wonder why I'm depressed After the mess you've always caused me I'm trying to understand I'm trying to understand and pick up the pieces Ripping apart at every seam In every dream I wake up falling Fixing this broken heart feels so lonely Without you by my side Alone Alone Alone Alone Gotta face this world on my own There wasn't even a goodbye Our hearts lingered in the air at that last moment that we shared So you don't love me anymore After all the shit we've been through I'm so easy to ignore Then you wonder why I'm depressed After the mess I've always caused me I'm trying to understand I'm trying to understand and fix the pieces Ripping apart at every seam In every dream I wake up falling Alone with my broken heart But I will get back and I'll survive I'll survive I'll survive I'll survive I'll survive
7.
Warmth 02:53
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Lingering thoughts of nostalgia Held in the shape of your body Keeps me warm at night Keeps me warm at night Spotting you in every dream Hearing the words that I want to hear Keeps me warm at night Keeps me warm at night I wish I could keep you for longer But life isn't fair that way I wish all the innocence hadn't faded So I could simply say I miss you more everyday Wake up each morning hoping you'd stayed Keeping warm at night Until it's the light I wish I could keep you for longer But life isn't fair that way I wish all the innocence hadn't faded So I could simply say I miss you more everyday Wake up each morning hoping you'd stayed Keeping warm at night Until it's the light
8.
Falling Out Of Love 02:37
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I'm falling out of love with you My memory seems to falter I'm falling out of love with you Heading up the hills to closure As I wake up each morning No rot or rust just dust of what we were and who I was When I was with you I'm no longer in love with you No ghosts lie in my dreams now Forgetting all my time with you As my tears can take their last bow No more No more No more And I was so afraid To forget all that we made But without you I've grown stronger And I was so afraid For our memories to fade But without them I've grown stronger

about

“Songs My Mother Never Taught Me”, is not your typical breakup album, but dives into themes of mental struggles, objectification, sexual violence, and the loss of innocence as we grow older. It’s about the lessons of life that a parent couldn’t prepare you for, but rather you have to live through.

But there’s light at the end of the tunnel, as the listener joins Manella on this journey of healing and strength with heartbreaking raw lyrics and beautiful melodies. We overcome the loneliness and confusion of our 20s; the cruel realities of womanhood; and our first heartbreak as time and reflection heals the wounds.

credits

released February 24, 2023

Music and Lyrics by Maria Jimenez

Mixed by: Maria Carolina Rodriguez (Track 1-4, 7, 8)
Mixed by William Poulin (Track 6)
Mixed by Maria Jimenez (Track 5)
Mastered by: Marc Thériault - Le Lab Mastering

Guitar (Track 2): Theo Haber
Guitar (Track 3, 4, 8): Cole Frieman
Guitar (Track 6): Zach Fischer
Bass (Track 1, 3, 4, 6, 8): Rodolfo Rueda
Drums (Track 3, 4, 6, 8): Joshua LeBlanc-Demers
Cello (Track 1, 7): Braden McConnell
Violin (Track 2): Theo Haber
Backing Vocals (Track 2): Theo Haber

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Manella Montreal, Québec

MANELLA (Maria Jimenez) is a singer-songwriter from Vancouver based in Montréal. She melds a variety of genres to create a full performative storytelling experience with enthralling vocals and a powerful stage presence. Her songwriting focuses on honest lyric writing from a feminist lens. Her debut album "Songs My Mother Never Taught Me" will be released February 2023. ... more

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